sometimes i get so wierd, i even freak myself out.

I noticed that every single time there is an 11:11 , I wish for the same thing. I always wish that the person will come back to me, and things will be okay .. but for some reason it never happens.

I wonder if there is such thing as a wish coming true. Usually, people say you can always pursue your dreams, and if you want something bad enough, to go out into the world and get it ..
What if, you can't ?
What if .. it is totally , physically impossible for me to go out there, and get what I want ?
I mean, I could always try harder, but that would probably make me seem like a whore. Right ?
Yes.
I guess, there are limits when it comes to dreaming. School, and clothes, and working, and individual things like that .. those are easy things to come by. But when it comes to two people sitting in the same situation .. no.

Right now, I would just say I am really confused. I am in a state of not caring at all, and in a state of; crap .. I don't know. When you love someone, the feelings don't go away. Sure, maybe you will intimately fall out of love with them, but the feelings, and caring that you always felt for them, will always be there. Whether you want them there or not. I know there will always be a place in my heart for Dave, and I don't think I am okay with that, but then again, I don't really have a choice. It's just the way it goes.

All good things come to an end, and as I write this .. not knowing what the ending will come to, or even what my point is .. it is important for me to write it down so that I remember. It's the first time I've ever felt this lonely - I wish someone could cure the pain. Everyone experiences it, I guess it's all just part of life, right ?

I remember thinking a month ago, that I would never be able to get over this. I was so lost without him, I didn't know if I would be able to live. But I did, and I am living now. I wish that I would be able to love life like I did before .. but maybe I should just save those feelings for a future day. I hope to find that person. 
That would be my ultimate dream.